Michael's Story

For me, getting out of the Army was hard — way harder than I ever expected. I was literally transformed, overnight, from a vital member of a team and a valued resource to my Command into a guy who was putting a dent into my bed. I was spending way too much time sleeping or bingeing seasons on Netflix. I was putting off the simple things that needed to get done. Instead of taking 30 minutes to complete a simple chore, I would spend days stressing and toiling over how to complete the task. I convinced myself that I would get up and do “stuff” at the end of the next episode I watched or nap I took. I knew I needed a shower and to clean my house. Also, I needed to finally attack all the little things that were bothering me. I was sleeping most of the day. I was anxious whenever my phone would ring or I would get a text because frankly, I didn’t want to talk to anyone or deal with anything. This began to change when my neighbors noticed my behavior had drastically changed. I changed from an outgoing, helpful go-getter to a hermit hiding in my home.  

My neighbors, Chuck and Amy, began to drop in unannounced. They would stir me out of bed and away from my television. They asked me direct questions like: “Why are you sleeping so late in the day?,” “Don’t you think you should clean up?,”  “How long has it been since you had a shower?,” “Are you eating anything besides Top Ramen?” This attention was enough for me to get out of bed and start being more involved again. 

Chuck and Amy would always ask me to join them on small excursions like going out to lunch or going for a boat ride. It was nice to get back outside and feel the sun on my face and smell the rich lake air. I began to look forward to their visits and was routinely getting up and doing things around the house and out in the yard. I started to enjoy the things that I worked my whole life to earn. I cleaned up my motorcycle and took it out for a ride. I took the cover off my boat and began taking evening cruises out on the lake. As I started venturing out, I became more involved with the people in my life and even started making new friends.

The point of all this is that people checking in on me made a huge difference in my outlook and behavior. My friends gave me activities to look forward to and reasons to get out of bed. They sparked me back into my old self in many ways. The process was not overnight. Persistence is what won the day. If they had come over once and saw that I was not well and then decided to leave me alone I could have easily spiraled downward. I am sure it took a lot of patience to get me back on track. I sure am glad they took the time and energy and did not give up on me. It was this meaningful attention that showed me how to make a difference in my brothers and sisters lives as they separated from the service.

I modeled this type of approach — meaningful and routine interaction — in starting this organization. I wanted to show Veterans and their loved ones what worked for me. The amazing people on our board and I will share this story as well as and other strategies to help people become more engaged with their Veterans. We will strive to be a valued resource for Veterans and their loved ones who are looking for other organizations that help Veterans. Lastly, we will provide resources to educate Veterans and their loved ones regarding suicide prevention, signs and symptoms of suicide behavior, and suicide risk and protective factors. Please help us to help them and do your part for the Veteran in your life.